Sunday, August 28, 2011

Disability As A Game

*facepalm* Mom stops kids' play because it's "disabelist" [sic]

Source:
Chairsstairlift.com

The woman has great intentions, don't get me wrong. She wants to ensure that her kids are raised with an awareness and appreciation of difference. This is a noble goal. My concern is with the execution.

Instead of telling kids that pretending to be paralyzed is bad, morph the game into a learning tool. Build, borrow, or work something into a wheelchair, and then have the kids attempt to maneuver themselves with it. How will they get up stairs, get to the bathroom, get into bed, swim, without using their legs? Can they play basketball, hide and seek, or baseball in the wheelchair? What is easier? What is more difficult? Go out in public. How do the children feel when they are approached by strangers? Do they get stared at, ignored, laughed at?

Similar situation with missing arms / legs / fingers / eyes. By encouraging the kids to dig a little deeper in their play, Mom can help her kids not just sympathize with disabled people, but actually empathize. Encourage the kids to have conversations with disabled people - you might even learn a thing or two yourself.

Disability opens a person up to being a "public" body, meaning that everyone thinks they have the right to comment on your situation, because "visible" to most folks equals "not private." I often have people come up to me, asking if they can talk about something "personal", and then reveal to me the latest and greatest medical treatment for my condition, as if I haven't already tried it. People, whether or differing ability, race or religion, simply want to be acknowledged as human. There is more to me than my forehead, there is more to a paralyzed person than their wheelchair, and there is more to a black person than the color of skin.

Unfortunately, by making her childrens' play appear to be a shameful thing, this mother may have handicapped her kids' ability to empathize with others by using their imagination to pretend what it would be like to be disabled. Our childrens' greatest asset is their imagination; shame on anyone who attempts to stick that in a wheelchair.

2 comments:

  1. WOW everyone has their two cents I suppose. Here's the deal, I am a disabled person who uses a mobility device. My kids are highly aware because they sometimes function as care takers for me. Telling them not to play paralyized let's them know that they don't have the right to make a game out of how someone's body functions and forces them to realize that because they are TAB (temporarily able bodied) that they exist with privilege.

    They really do understand, which is a far sight more than I can say for the adults who feel that they can publicly shame me and use disableist words in the process.

    You say that you don't want to start anything but I highly doubt that was the reason you decided to piggy back on this post. I am not going to bother to answer you in my space because I refuse to give you any traffic. You don't know me, and you most certainly don't know my children so anything you have to say unimportant.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The post was meant as general advice to parents who are wondering how to promote "inclusivism." Any offense was completely unintentional.

    Also, for the record, here is the e-mail I wrote to Renee, requesting her comment in an attempt for her to address any issues she may have seen in my post:

    Ms. Martin,

    I read your blog today as a result of a Facebook post of a friend. I have written a response to your article on my blog, http://valkyriefalls.blogspot.com/2011/08/disability-as-game.html.

    I invite you to read it, and feel free to comment. I'm not meaning to lecture you, or anything, just wanted to let you know what I'd said about you, so you don't feel I've portrayed you in a negative light without recourse (or without your knowledge; I'm not the kind to gossip behind people's backs).

    I wish you the best in your endeavor to raise your kids to be aware.

    Take care,
    Becky Littlefield

    ReplyDelete

Welcome to my waterfall. Play nice.